What if I am not OK being single and alone?

What if I am not OK being single and alone?

You might often hear that it’s alright to be single, and there is real truth in that. Even though everyone wants love and being in a loving relationship, there are benefits to being single.

When you’re single, you have a lot more freedom to do what you want. Your free time is completely your own and you are able to use it however you want. That means being able to eat what you want, engage in your hobbies at your leisure, go out any time you want, and even date whoever you want. There is real personal freedom that comes from being single.

However, most people still crave being in a loving relationship because they want companionship, love, affection, attention, and to share their life together with someone. Being in a relationship is as natural as being single, and while there is wisdom in saying that we have to learn how to appreciate our personal freedoms while single, a lot of people would rather be in love and in a relationship.

A large part of that is because being single can lonely, and for many, loneliness is difficult to process and accept. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation and is linked with a host of issues such as anxiety, fear, depression, high blood pressure, and obesity. It also feels awful.

Most of this can be mitigated by building strong, meaningful relationships with friends and family. These bonds that are built with people around you can alleviate some, or even most, of the effects of loneliness. This takes effort though, and relationships aren’t always the best in quality. They can sometimes be toxic and make feelings of isolation worse. It’s only natural that people want to fill that gap by looking for love, affection, and attention.

However, romantic relationships also take considerable effort to build and maintain, just like relationships with your family and friends. In fact, much of what you learn in maintaining and building a relationship between friends and family is used to build and maintain a romantic relationship.

It’s also some truth that you have to learn how to live with yourself first before you’re really able to properly find love with someone else. Just as people have to learn how to love themselves before they can really understand how to love someone else, make them feel loved, and receive the same in return. So a lot of people are in a catch-22 situation where they feel alone and lonely, have difficulties loving themselves, and have difficulties with being along. At the same time, building strong relationships may not be an easy thing for them, or they have unresolved trauma from past relationships that make it difficult for them.

A lot of this starts with you. In order to find love, and build that strong relationship you crave, you have to learn how to first discover how to love yourself, and how to be by yourself. That requires a degree of introspection, and willingness to act in order to improve yourself and your situation.

Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.

    Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy.  
    Advanced Diploma in Counselling Psychology (ADICP) trains students to apply appropriate counselling skills in different situations while understanding their underlying theories. The ADICP programme introduces students to the nature of psychology and relates it to the theories and concepts of counselling. Students move on to explore themselves in order to promote personal growth and self-awareness, acquiring the key attributes of a competent counsellor and the proper methods of applying those skills.
    Diploma in Counselling Psychology (DCPSY) is a counselling course covering a range of conceptual and functional skills in counselling. It trains students to apply appropriate counselling psychology skills in different situations, and equips students with the ability to work effectively as a counsellor.


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