No matter how often we hear people talk about failure, it’s still incredibly hard not to see failure as something intrinsically bad.
Everyone fears failing over something, and everyone fails at some point. Most of us fail often and spectacularly. It can often feel like the end of the world. Some of the most common failures deal with career, relationships, and love. Nearly everyone flounders in these areas; sometimes all at the same time.
Failure can happen in your job and career.
Maybe you made a mistake in the process of doing your job, and you can’t seem to shake the feeling of incompetence and guilt, even if nobody holds it over you. It’s possible your entire career may feel like a failure, and you haven’t progressed at an acceptable pace, aren’t making enough money, or just aren’t at the level you believe you should be at.
Failure can happen in your relationships.
Maybe you’re having a difficult time maintaining relationships with your friends and family. It could be interpersonal issues. It could be a long-running conflict over certain topics involving money and responsibilities. Maybe someone has a really bad temper and it’s making things difficult for everyone. It might be your fault, or it might not be. In the end, you’ll end up feeling responsible for the relationships falling apart, or growing distant.
Failure can happen in love and romance.
Falling in love is pretty easy. Finding love can be incredibly difficult. It’s often a process fraught with failure when trying to find the right person to commit to. For people who are still looking or are serial dating, the feeling that you’re absolutely failing in finding love is a real feeling. It’s frustration that has moved on to affecting your views about other people, love, and even yourself. These viewpoints can turn overly-negative very quickly.
The reality is that you will fail in at least one of the areas here. You may even fail in all three of these major areas. Trying to move on from this isn’t easy.
A lot of this has to do with how deeply personal failure is when we’re so invested in something. Intellectually, we may know we shouldn’t take it so personally when we fail. Emotionally, we may not be able to easily accept the failure. Internalising the failures, talking to yourself in a negative way, and blaming yourself will only make it worse.
Remember that failure is actually pretty normal. Think about how many times you fell off a bicycle before you could ride it. Failure everywhere else is like that; just a learning process towards achieving success. It’s simple to accept when you think about it that way; but still, the feeling that accompanies failure don’t go away that easily.
You have to try to figure out why you’re taking it so hard, why these failures are so personal, and why it means so much to you. You have to do some soul searching, and introspection about what kind of person you are, where you came from and what it is you expect of yourself.
What is it you’re searching for, and why does it mean so much to you?
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy. - ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Advanced Diploma in Counselling Psychology (ADICP) trains students to apply appropriate counselling skills in different situations while understanding their underlying theories. The ADICP programme introduces students to the nature of psychology and relates it to the theories and concepts of counselling. Students move on to explore themselves in order to promote personal growth and self-awareness, acquiring the key attributes of a competent counsellor and the proper methods of applying those skills. - DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Diploma in Counselling Psychology (DCPSY) is a counselling course covering a range of conceptual and functional skills in counselling. It trains students to apply appropriate counselling psychology skills in different situations, and equips students with the ability to work effectively as a counsellor.
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