You often hear people complain about how they are having a bad day, bad week, bad month, and even a bad year. I think it’s common enough to say that everyone goes through stretches where things just aren’t working out in their favour. This is likely true for you as well.
I don’t think anyone really sits down to think about what this really means. Generally, you may point out that their career may not be going as well as they hoped, the economy may be less than ideal, and your finances aren’t in the best of shape. It could be that your relationships have deteriorated, or you’ve had your heart broken, or it could even be that you’re disappointed in how you’ve let other people down. It could even be that you’re doing something that you’re completely uninterested in doing and it’s making you feel miserable.
The problems may be big or small, but the thoughts and accompanying feelings can linger for long stretches, and it makes you feel like things just aren’t going your way. It’s during this time that getting out of bed in the morning can be difficult. It’s difficult to have to get through another day of this stress and anxiety. You’re trying to get through, but you really feel like you’re really struggling.
Things feel difficult, tough, unfair, unrelenting.
Such things are common for everyone. Things in our lives aren’t always within our control, and as much as that may not be great, it’s something we have to get around. A large part of being able to get past this is in finding ways to manage ourselves.
While we aren’t able to control the things that happen to us, we are able to manage how we deal with those things. Part of why bad things affect us so much is because of how personally we tend to take it. In reality, we’re going to get into trouble, regardless of how hard we’ve worked to avoid it. We’ll encounter rough patches but also, we’ll encounter good patches.
Think back on a period in your life when you had some good patches. Changes are you may have appreciated them, but you didn’t linger on it. Meanwhile, there is a tendency to linger on the bad things that happen in our lives. When we allow negative thoughts to linger, we’re actually drawing out the negative periods and emotions longer than they need to be with us. It’s the same way we tend to hold onto strong emotions like anger, where sometimes we’re still angry for days afterwards even though the situation had already been resolved.
If you give yourself time to properly process the things that are happening in your life, you’ll likely find you are able to better manage how you feel about them. Some people find ways to distract themselves, and that can be a good way to handle things as well, provided they are healthy distractions. for example, turning towards sports or a hobby are great ways to focus on something other than the things causing you stress and anxiety. Turning towards alcohol or smoking may not be the best idea as these can end up exacerbating your problems.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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