Whenever we talk about self-affirmation, the imagery that pops into my head is of someone standing in front of a mirror and saying positive words about themselves to their reflection. In short though, that is what happens. Self-affirmation is talking to yourself, and it could be a powerful instigator for positive change… or not!
I want to be careful not to broadly say this will work for everyone, because people are different. There are some people for whom this may not work, and they end up simply resisting their own efforts. However, I think self-affirmation can help a lot of people to change the way they see, think, and feel about themselves. In some cases, it could even change your behaviour for the better.
Words of affirmation are a group of words that we say to affirm something positive about someone. For example, we may say:
- You’re doing great!
- I appreciate your efforts!
- I believe in you!
Self-affirmation is when we apply that to ourselves. The easiest way to start is to look in the mirror and essentially talk to ourselves by affirming:
- I am strong!
- I am competent!
- I can succeed!
- I’ve got the strength to get through today!
The assumption is that speaking positively to ourselves can help change the relationship we have with ourselves. This assumption is based off the idea that speaking negatively to ourselves can have long term negative effects on our mental and emotional health. There is some truth to this, but there is somewhat of a catch when we talk to ourselves, especially in front of a mirror. We can end up feeling a little bit silly and embarrassed. That’s how I felt when I first did it!
That’s because it isn’t natural. Think about all those times when you’re making negative comments to yourself. You’re rarely ever standing in front of a mirror and specifically taking time off from your day to tell yourself you’re not doing well, or that you’re a failure. The negative self-talk happens naturally.
By taking time to look ourselves in the mirror, we’re trying to create a new habit where we can then start talking to ourselves in a more natural way. We want to be able to congratulate ourselves and pat ourselves on the back when we’re doing something good. Once we have this new habit, it becomes easier to build this new relationship with ourselves. We can start to see ourselves in a different way, and how we naturally talk to ourselves can be changed to match.
I have found it beneficial to see myself in a more positive light. It makes it easier to take time off for myself. It makes it easier to take care of myself without the burden of guilt. There’s no need to justify or make excuses for loving myself. Perhaps, you can take this step and find a new way to look at yourself, and in the process, bring yourself closer to the happiness you deserve.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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