It can’t be sugar-coated. Sometimes life can be difficult. Sometimes life can be unfair, cruel, and brutal. Often, when something bad happens, other bad things happen. There is even a saying for it: When it rains, it pours.
Bad things do happen, and they happen often. You have good days and bad days, and sometimes, it just seems like bad days happen more often than good days. Maybe it’s been so long since you’ve had a good day, you’ve forgotten what that even looks like.
So how can thinking differently improve your life?
Cognitive behaviour therapy is a method used to improve mental health by changing the way you think about things. It’s a type of therapy that acknowledges that the way you think can define your reality, and this can be helpful or unhelpful to your life.
When something happens to you, you will narrate that event to yourself and have an opinion on it. Maybe you spoke up at work and made a suggestion, but your boss or colleagues shot it down. Now you feel silly and embarrassed. This is actually a common fear for many people, and why some people don’t speak up more often, even if it can be beneficial for them to do so. For example, speaking up and asking for a pay raise can be scary. You might get rejected. You might even fear you aren’t doing well enough to deserve a pay raise; or so that’s what you tell yourself.
Is there even another way to look at the situation?
If you ask for a pay raise, you might get a pay raise! You might get exactly what you ask for. Even if you don’t, at least now your management understands that you’re looking to improve your position or pay; so the next time you ask them, they might be better inclined to listen and seriously consider it.
Even if you don’t get what you asked for, it can make you feel that you are in charge of your own life and destiny. It makes you an active participant in the things that happen in your life. Rather than be a victim and making excuses for yourself, you become the hero of your own life.
Even in such a simple example, you can see how changing how you think changes the entire situation from one which you have to make an excuse for, to one which you become the hero of your own story. A story where you are successful instead of a failure. This reframing of the way you think about things is a self-fulfilling prophecy; meaning you make happen what you think should happen. If you think you’re a failure, you’ll ensure you are. If you think you’re successful, you’ll ensure you’ll be successful.
You probably already do this to some extent without realising it if you’ve ever said to yourself, “I can do this.” Now you just need to be able to more systematically apply this. It’s not something that comes naturally or easily for many people; and it might be difficult for you at first. With the right study and training, you can help get yourself to the point where you can start really affecting your life for the better, just from thinking differently.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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