What if I never find love?

The need to find love is so fundamental to people that it is safe to say most people have said this out loud, have thought it, or have heard someone they know say it. This fear of not finding a romantic partner, and love, is also a fear of being alone, of being left out, and being unwanted. It is much more complex than just a fear that we won’t find love.

It also doesn’t help when we are inundated with new research after another that says that people in relationships are happier than people who are not. If you aren’t in a romantic relationship, or you haven’t found that special person, you might feel you are missing out. The insecurity we feel about being alone is universal because we are social by nature.

The quality of the relationships we have and the quality of its maintenance even positively affects our emotional and mental health. People who have strong social relationships and contacts also tend to have emotional, mental, and even physical support that single people might struggle with.

One of the types of loneliness that we experience is called romantic loneliness:

Romantic loneliness is when someone single feels a deep longing for a romantic partner. They might be feeling a need for a more intimate connection with another person; often not having any particular person in mind. Sometimes people in relationships feel lonely in this way, perhaps because they lack the intimate connection with their partner or because of other life or relationship issues.

Even when we have strong relationships and quality social connections, we might still crave something even more intimate and personal. It’s normal. There’s nothing wrong to want this or to feel this way. One of the best methods to get ourselves out of our loneliness rut is to get out there.

Getting out in the world and meeting new people is one simple way that loneliness can be overcome. Joining a social event, picking up a social hobby, or volunteering somewhere around people is a great start. The people you meet will come from all walks of life, so this will be a way to broaden your social circle and provide opportunities to connect with people you otherwise would not have.

The fear of loneliness is real for many people, but more often than not, people meet the love of their lives just by going out in the world and just doing their thing, and being involved with people. When dealing with our fundamental desires and needs, it is not always so simple, with people sometimes self-sabotaging their own desires. Understanding who we are and what we really want is not as easy it it sounds, just as finding love and building strong relationships are not so simple or easy. It takes commitment, work, some luck, and some degree of skill and art.