We’ve talked a lot about how happiness is important, likely the most important outcome for many people, but we’re not so inclined to talk about how we might be sabotaging our own happiness.
I’m not saying we’re all doing it, but certainly there are more than enough people who intentionally or unintentionally sabotage their own happiness. What I mean by that is to draw attention to the different ways people go about pushing themselves farther away from their own happiness.
When you intentionally sabotage yourself, it usually involves making decisions that tend to have the opposite effect of what you want. For example, you’ve been working hard to build better trust in the relationship with your significant other, and while things are going well, you end up doing something that endanger their trust in you. This could be something you consider to be small, like staying out late and not communicating properly with your partner.
People who are trying to work through their addiction can sometimes be prone to substituting in another destructive behaviour, like overspending on online shopping or binge eating. Substituting one addiction with another negative behaviour can end up sending your efforts back by quite a bit, and now you have an extra issue to deal with.
It doesn’t have to be very dramatic. The sabotage can happen quietly when you tell yourself that you’ve worked hard and doing a good job in your career, but other people are also working hard as well. When you find ways to diminish yourself and your efforts, you end up sabotaging yourself. You’ll end up robbing yourself of your own recognition by making excuses and comparing to other people. You’re inevitably saying to yourself that other people are also working hard, there’s nothing special with what you’ve done.
When you make excuses and find ways to diminish yourself, or you do something counterproductive, you make it harder for yourself to find happiness.
The trick then is to be mindful of the things you’re doing, and the thoughts you let creep into your head during the course of the day. It takes real effort and knowledge to ensure you’re thinking in a healthy way, and in the direction that will lead you towards your end goals. You’ll need to set aside quality time for yourself to take in your day and events in your life. You’ll need that time to decipher your thoughts and feelings.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy. - ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Advanced Diploma in Counselling Psychology (ADICP) trains students to apply appropriate counselling skills in different situations while understanding their underlying theories. The ADICP programme introduces students to the nature of psychology and relates it to the theories and concepts of counselling. Students move on to explore themselves in order to promote personal growth and self-awareness, acquiring the key attributes of a competent counsellor and the proper methods of applying those skills. - DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
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