Do you often find yourself being there for your friends, cheering them up and motivating them towards self-betterment? They might have even taken your advice to heart, made adjustments and had tremendous improvement in their lives. Maybe you just provided comfort and a listening ear. Either way, you make a difference to people.
Meanwhile you’re going home feeling empty when you should be feeling good after helping your friend. This could signal a lack of self-love and a lack of appreciation of your own worth and value. But how do you know if you lack self-love?
Some of the signs might be:
- Low self-esteem – This might cause you to doubt your decision making and instead focus on negative rather than positive outcome.
- Overly self-critical – If you are overly self-critical, you may often unjustly blame yourself for every situation, making it difficult to appreciate your own contributions and worth.
- Fear of being judged – When you find it difficult to be yourself, you also risk becoming overly watchful of the behaviours of others. You search for clues on what to wear, what to say and how to act just to please others. This leads to an inability to be comfortable in your own skin, and leaves you feeling inauthentic and untrue to yourself.
These can lead to ‘self-sabotage’, where you end up doing the opposite of what will bring you happiness, health and well being. This inability to value and love yourself could be due to childhood or past trauma and incidences. Years of rejection, self-deprivation and oppression can force a retreat into this mindset. In the end, self-sabotage ensures we remain in our familiar psychological territory, even if it is detrimental.
The goal is to effectively help others, and the best way to do that is to first learn how to give appreciation for our role in our own accomplishments, and our value and purpose to ourselves and community.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn how to deal with negative self-image, and allow yourself to move to a place of self-love, for your own growth and well-being.
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