It’s no secret that everyone is trying to find some measure of happiness. Some people are looking for a very specific type of happiness that is more narrowly defined, while others are looking for a general sense of happiness. Regardless, happiness can’t come unless you first look at yourself.
Learning how to love yourself is key to happiness.
It may seem and sound obvious that you have to love yourself, but in reality, too many people suffer silently, unable to do so. Too many people see themselves as unlovable for a number of reasons. It could be guilt that that’ve not dealt with over the years, or failures that they’ve yet to come to grips with. It could also be that you have deep personal issue with yourself, be it with your body or your personality. It’s likely you’ve experience some of this yourself.
Guilt is a huge impediment to happiness. This isn’t guilt that people place upon you. This is guilt you’ve built up over the years, by yourself. You could be feeling guilty about not being a good partner, not being a good enough provider, or not being a good enough friend. It could be guilt over your life not turning out the way you envisioned or wanted. It could be over your mistreatment of someone in the past that you’ve carried with you all these years. Guilt hangs around and occupies a large enough of your conscious and subconscious self that it can cloud everything in your life, including being able to cloud any sense of happiness.
Failure is also something that many people have a hard time letting go of. It could be failure to achieve a career goal, failure in your romantic relationships, friendships, or other personal life goals. It could even stretch as far back as failure to do the best in school. Like guilt, this sense of failure, when undealt with, can be a burden on you, preventing you from happiness.
It could also be that you have some deep unresolved issues with your own body or your personality. Maybe you’ve always been unhappy about your nose, your weight, or maybe you’ve spent years hating your temperament, or ambition.
These things can hinder your ability to find happiness by making you think and believe that you are unworthy of it. If you’re preoccupied with your failures, guilt, or you are being too self-critical, you’re going to find it hard to accept happiness into your life. You’ll think you haven’t earned it, or you’re not worthy of it, or someone else deserves it more. This may lead you to making decisions that don’t lead you towards happiness.
You may never take the step necessary to find the right job for you, or the right career, or you may pass on getting together with a wonderful person because you fear you’ll fail and aren’t really even worth their trouble.
Loving yourself means learning how to forgive yourself for your past transgressions, whatever they may be. Nobody is perfect, and our lives are a complicated mix of good and bad, successes and failures. Forgiving yourself for these things, and learning how to celebrate your successes, no matter how small, is a great and positive step forward towards happiness.
Loving yourself means accepting your failings, and accepting you will continue to make mistakes; but you try to do better. You don’t always need to succeed; you just need to try.
Loving yourself means taking the time to learn about yourself, and when you do that, you will get an insight into why you’ve done the things you’ve done and why you feel the way you do. It will bring you one step closer in being able to accept that you are worthy of love, and you are worthy of your happiness.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
- POSTGRADUATE DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy. - ADVANCED DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Advanced Diploma in Counselling Psychology (ADICP) trains students to apply appropriate counselling skills in different situations while understanding their underlying theories. The ADICP programme introduces students to the nature of psychology and relates it to the theories and concepts of counselling. Students move on to explore themselves in order to promote personal growth and self-awareness, acquiring the key attributes of a competent counsellor and the proper methods of applying those skills. - DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Diploma in Counselling Psychology (DCPSY) is a counselling course covering a range of conceptual and functional skills in counselling. It trains students to apply appropriate counselling psychology skills in different situations, and equips students with the ability to work effectively as a counsellor.
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