It’s easy to dismiss a question like this. The answer seems obvious; sure, I deserve to be happy. Except we shouldn’t make this assumption that this is the obvious answer, because a lot of people don’t actually think they deserve to be happy even if they say they do.
Some who are searching for happiness and trying to find ways to be happier don’t even always think they deserve it.
A lot of people think they aren’t worthy of happiness. Some people don’t even know what it means to even be happy, much less whether they deserve it or not. People seem to understand happiness as a concept and an idea, but in practice, it isn’t so obvious exactly what it is for them.
A lot of people carry around guilt for something they may have done wrong in the past. This may even be guilt that is not of their own doing, but inherited or assigned to them by someone else, or by society. When you are burdened by that guilt, often for years, there’s a good chance you don’t really believe you deserve to be happy. Happiness might even feel like an injustice in such a situation. This is why some people who have done well in life sometimes feel guilty about it. They feel like they don’t really deserve whatever it is they have.
Then there are people who are haunted by past trauma. Whether it is a relatively new trauma or something carried around from childhood, trauma can often keep people buried in the past event; reliving it over and over again. This can negatively impact their lives, and can make the idea of being happy just an unrealistic fantasy. People in such situations often have built up defensive barriers so strong and dense that even if happiness were to land on their lap, it’d never make it through the walls that were erected to protect them.
A common example is a person who fell in love and then had a failed relationship or there was infidelity or abuse. Many people in such situations come out feeling like they were at fault for it, and that they don’t even deserve to be with anyone or even be happy. It’s a relatively common occurrence, that typically resolves itself over time; but not always. Some people carry that as trauma into the next relationship and the next, and they end up failing over and over again; living up to their expectation that they don’t deserve to be happy.
You might say you deserve to be happy, but do you truly believe that?
Perhaps you think you do, but deep down, there are things you feel you need to work out before any happiness can be found. Maybe you have conditions that you feel need to be met by yourself first. Maybe you even think something else external has to happen, like being promoted at work, or getting married.
Have you really thought about whether you deserve happiness?
The answer is that you do deserve it, but whether you think and feel like it is another matter for you to find out.
College of Allied Educator’s Counselling Psychology programme will train individuals to understand thoughts and emotions; and with the right tools, allow individuals to see a broader, deeper, more interconnected world of possibilities for happiness and success.
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Post Graduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Post Graduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy. - DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY
Diploma in Counselling Psychology (DCPSY) is a claimable Skillsfuture counselling course covering a range of conceptual and functional skills in counselling. It trains students to apply appropriate counselling psychology skills in different situations, and equips students with the ability to work effectively as a counsellor.
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