We all know someone who is going through rough patches in their lives for a variety of reasons. Perhaps even you are going through such troubles.

Maybe you have lost a loved one, failed at a relationship, lost a job, hit a dead end in your career, or your personal life isn’t going as smoothly as you had hoped. This sense of unfairness that you’ve been dealt the short end of the stick while others have it better is a common view that people entertain when things aren’t going so well for them.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. -Buddha

Some who have sought out the secret to happiness believe that maybe there is no secret. It could be a conscious set of things we can do each day that will help us feel better, live longer, and be healthier. One of those things that we can do is to learn to forgive one another for the things we do consciously or unconsciously that can cause harm to others. There are many benefits to forgiveness alone, but the simple fact that it will help us be happier is enough to say it is a thing worth doing. Let’s look at some simple ways we can practice forgiveness.

Over the last year, many of us would have heard and read about the many high-profile suicides of stars and celebrity. Things like this send shockwaves across the world. It’s tragic and shocking to hear about highly successful people with everything they could ever want succumbing to their inner demons due to depression.

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Stress is something we all have to deal with. It is our body’s signal to be wary of danger or threats. Your heart rate may increase, your palms may get sweaty, your senses get more acute, and you gain more energy as hormones flood your body in preparation to deal with the looming problem or threat. Stress is a natural.

Good listening is empathic listening; defined as a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. It allows us to receive and accurately interpret the speaker’s message, hence able to provide an appropriate response. This is an important skill to master for both personal and professional interactions. When an individual feels understood, an emotional burden is lifted, stress and defensiveness will reduce. Hence as an empathic listener, you empower the speaker to an increased self-esteem and clarity.

Empathic listening comprises two crucial aspects – Active and Reflective Listening.

Active listening is mindful hearing and genuine effort to comprehend what’s spoken by the other. Attentiveness is the key factor. Reflective listening focuses on reflecting the speaker’s words and feelings by giving feedback through a “paraphrased rendition”; the interpretation confirms and assures that the speaker is heard and understood.

5 TIPS TO INCREASE YOUR LISTENING ABILITIES:

Be Fully In The Moment – Paying attention not just to the words but tone, facial expressions and body language for cues on how they are really feeling. Good eye contact is necessary to convey engagement.

Put Yourself In Their Shoes – Imagine yourself in their situation. Empathy is the ability to project oneself into the personality of another person in order to better understand his/ her emotions.

Do Not Interrupt – Don’t dominate the conversation or impose your ideas on the person. Encourage them to express themselves more instead.

Paraphrase Main Points & Restate them – Echoing what the speaker said allows needed clarification and also assures the speaker that he/she is understood and heard correctly.

Adopt An Attitude of Unconditional Regard – Unconditional positive regard is accepting the speaker totally for who he or she is without evaluating or censoring; and disapproving of particular feelings, actions or characteristics. It liberates the speaker to express him or herself freely.

The ability to listen is one of the most crucial skills of a counsellor. When you are able to truly listen, you learn to empathise, and you learn to sympathise with people around you. It changes the way you perceive the world and informs the way you are able to help.

Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about the limits of your abilities and discover how you can help others overcome their doubts, fears, disagreements, and challenges in order to build a happier, more meaningful life.

• POSTGRADUATE DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology (PGDICP) is a counselling psychology course accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). The part-time Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Psychology programme focuses on developing and enhancing experiential knowledge and skills through a holistic approach. Some of the subjects covered include Counselling Children, Addiction Intervention, Crisis Intervention, and Family Therapy.
• DIPLOMA IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY Diploma in Counselling Psychology (DCPSY) is a counselling course covering a range of conceptual and functional skills in counselling. It trains students to apply appropriate counselling psychology skills in different situations, and equips students with the ability to work effectively as a counsellor.

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