You may have seen TV shows or movies where people talk to themselves in the mirror. In those moments, they might be saying something positive to start their day. They might say something along the lines of: “I feel powerful today!” This is called self-talk. Everyone does it, though mostly it is done without much conscious consideration, and often in a negative way.
Moments like those in front of the mirror are to illustrate how people are trying to change how they talk to themselves. Usually this is because they’ve been struggling with negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is when you talk in a negative way to and about yourself.
It looks something like this:
- I’m such a klutz; I can’t do anything right.
- I’m going to fail again; I know it.
- They’re probably laughing at me.
- Nobody takes me seriously.
- I’m not easy to love.
When you take some time to think about what is being said, it’s actually very sad and depressing that people talk like that to themselves. It is demoralising, and can deeply affect your self-esteem, and actually drive you away from achieving the things you want out of life, relationships, or your career.
People often don’t even know they are talking to themselves in this way.
The scene in front of the mirror is a way for people to consciously take charge of the voice, and give it a direction and spin that is more positive. Essentially, what you’re trying to do is reframe the image you have of yourself, and changing the way you talk to yourself is a way to build a new kind of relationship with your inner self.
You don’t have to do it in front of a mirror. There are quiet times that you can take advantage of at home to do this. A good time to do this type of self-reflection is after a warm shower, a nice dinner, and a few minutes of quiet time before you sleep.
Take that time to think about who you are and what you’re trying to do; and look back on the things you’ve said about yourself and the way you’ve narrated your day to day activities as you went about doing them. You should be able to slowly see that there are areas you can improve, and change how you say and think things.
Remember that you are your own worst critic, so take some time to think about the good and positive things you’ve done throughout the day. Even managing to have some quiet time is a positive event that you managed to carve out for yourself. You value yourself enough to take that time for yourself. Having a nice dinner is also something to be thankful for. You have good taste after all.
That’s just the start of a journey for you to better yourself, towards finding happiness in your life and in yourself.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about yourself, what motivates you, and how you can find happiness, meaning, and success in work, love, and life.
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